You just wrapped up a killer job interview, anticipating the good news coming your way that you’ve gotten the job. Or maybe it was a date that you thought went great. Days go by and you hear no word. Did they not like me? Did I say something wrong? How could this happen again? Negative thoughts may start to slip in about yourself or things you “did wrong” that could have chased away (what you thought was) the perfect opportunity, job, person, or situation. This is where you can easily start going down the insecurity rabbit hole, picking apart reasons why we were at fault when we can’t justify the situation.
Rejection can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it is an unavoidable aspect of being human. We all experience it, and yet it’s hard to accept that there isn’t something we could have done to change the outcome. Rejection can give us a sense of losing something we thought we had, violating our expectations. It scares us because it reminds us that we cannot control people and circumstances and it can be an awakening reminder of our insecurities or old patterns.
Our reaction to rejection is often tied to experiences from our past, using it as justification for the lies we tell ourselves.
It may bring up old feelings or circumstances that you’ve experienced before that you hoped you would never feel again. Sometimes we are functioning in a cycle of experiences, repeating the same thing over and over because we haven’t coped and dealt with the initial problem. This is why our reaction to rejection is just as important (if not more) than the rejection itself and why learning how to deal with it is so important!
Letting go of expectations will save you a lot of heartbreak in the long run. Accept that life has something different in store for you…and to trust that (often times what’s meant for you is even better than you expect or imagine). Accept that you’re disappointed right now. Accept that this situation happened to teach you something and look into what that is, rather than seeing it as a loss. The more you challenge yourself, the more you’ll experience rejection as an inevitable part of the process. Its either you keep trying and finally get what you want (even if it takes a couple of tries) or you just don’t face rejection at all through inaction, which ends up being the biggest risk of all because you never get what you desire the most.
Something that I do every day on Instagram is read (and save) memorable and inspiring quotes that I come across. Reading quotes from other people normalizes the emotions we all share, and brings light to situations or emotions I may not be able to understand fully at the time in such a simple way. I wanted to share a few quotes about rejection with you that may help put it into perspective and change your perspective about what rejection really is…..an opportunity for you to find something meant for you.
“I believe that rejection is a blessing because it’s the universe’s way of telling you that there’s something better out there.”
– Michelle Phan
“We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success.”
“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”
“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”
– Henry David Thoreau
“I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.”
– Oprah Winfrey
“Each rejection brings us closer to acceptance. “
– Ramesh Lohia
“Rejected pieces aren’t failures; unwritten pieces are.”
– Greg Daugherty
“Rejection isn’t failure. Failure is giving up. Everyone gets rejected. It’s how handle it that determines where you’ll end up.”
– Richard Castle
“If we live for people’s acceptance, we will die from their rejection. “
“Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny.”
– Bryant McGill
Content courtesy of Michelle Finn, Founder of Pop Design Shoppe
Contributing Author, Michelle Finn
Michelle has a strong marketing background in a versatile set of roles including social media, events, and field marketing. She fell in love with design and combined it with her skills to create her business, Pop Design Shoppe. In the future, she hopes to continue her work within design or the arts (including interior design, fashion, the visual arts, and event design). She wants to continue working on projects that create impact. Her perfect day includes a morning workout, sunny day at the beach (preferably with her dog joining) followed by an evening out with friends at an event.