Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed when someone praises your work? Do you think your achievements are just a matter of luck? If so, you may be experiencing Impostor syndrome.
That’s the term psychologists invented in the 1970s when they were studying successful women. Now, they know that men are just as likely to be affected.
In fact, an estimated 70% of adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. You may be especially vulnerable when you’re trying something new or celebrating an important occasion like a job promotion.
Impostor syndrome may be caused by your personality or the way you grew up. Whatever the reasons, you can stop undermining yourself.
Learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve.
Changing Your Thinking:
- Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.
- Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself, instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.
- Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.
- Validate yourself. Live up to your own standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.
- Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.
Changing Your Behavior:
- Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a difficult cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.
- Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.
- Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your coworkers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.
- Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. Throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.
- Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.
- Find a mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be tough work. Working with a mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress, too.
- Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. Instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.
- Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.
- Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.
Build your confidence and sense of belonging. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you to feel more comfortable with yourself and take more satisfaction in your achievements.
CONTRIBUTING AUTHOR, FARRAH MILLER
Farrah Miller is an integrated nutrition health expert, founder of FM Wellness, author, and a Female Empowerment Coach. An activist in the making, she wants to be the wave that can make a difference in the gender equality. To support that ambition she provides free mentoring to divorce and traumatised women who are going through an emotionally challenging time. Farrah works with women in their 20’s-40’s who want to improve their lives and appearance naturally, providing 1:1 coaching coaching, and 30-day courses which can be taken from your sofa, in your PJs!
Want to check her out? For a limited time, Farrah is offering a free eCoaching series “30 day to a New You”. Did you know that most habits can be broken if you can go 30 days without them?