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Gratitude Exercise: A Look Back On Last Year’s You

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Have you ever….
  • Researched online to figure out how old someone is… so that you can see how you stack up in terms of how well YOU’VE used your years?
  • Wondered why the hell you haven’t been a guest on over a dozen podcasts already?
  • Imagined yourself in the place of that badass presenter at that conference… only to tank your mood because of how impossible it seemed?
  • Made list after list of all the things you need to do to become as successful as everyone else?
  • Looked at your follower count or email subscribers… and felt lame because the numbers weren’t as high as your top local competitor?
I sure as shit have.

Comparing ourselves to other people makes us feel guilty/shameful/insecure/hungry-for-chips-a-hoy. It’s the mental equivalent of picking at a zit: guaranteed to make an oozing wound out of a small flicker of a problem. Yet, like the zit-picking, we often feel unable to resist doing it, no matter how much worse we know it’ll make things.

But what if comparison itself isn’t the problem? What if the problem is the direction we’re looking when we do so?

What if we started comparing ourselves to, well, ourselves? Hear me out.

I’ve found self-comparison to be a surprising exercise in gratitude and optimism. Shifting our comparison lens from outward to backward forces us to remember how far we’ve come. By default, we begin to think it’s not only possible but probable that we’ll look back the following year and feel good about what we’ve accomplished.

When we do this, the I’m-running-and-running-and-tripping-and-falling-and-so-behind feeling starts to slow down with your heart rate. You begin to feel a warmness toward yourself. You start to actually believe the aspirational platitudes that used to make you roll your eyes like a good little cynic. Trust the process. You’re doing better than you think you are. You’ve got this.

So, let’s try it. Shift that comparison lens from outward to backward. Back one week. One month. Six months. Nine months. All the way to this time last year. Okay, stop. Try to feel the moment viscerally. The room you were in. The people around you (or not). The perspective you looked into the world with.

Where were you?

Physically, I was sitting at a desk in a hotel room in San Francisco while my boyfriend slept, frantically finishing a novel I was ghostwriting for an extremely cheap rate.

Mentally, I was fogged. I was busy, but not in control. I felt like an overworked employee, slap-dashing off every writing project because I didn’t have time to think deeply about them.

Emotionally, I was panicked. I felt incredibly alone, trapped in an online world where I was making money but didn’t have any support. And I didn’t know how to get out.

But hands down, the worst part about last year’s me is that I was embarrassed about where I was. I felt like I must have been doing everything wrong to feel like I did, to be broke like I was, and to be so alone. I couldn’t bear to have anyone look too closely and confirm it.

Honestly, I was doing a lot of things wrong. But so what? Why did I think it was expected of me to knock it out of the park my first year in business?

Really, the only truly wrong thing was the shame I felt. It kept me in that panic-stricken place for several months, because I was too embarrassed to ask for help and too embarrassed to admit that things weren’t working.

That’s why the thing I’m most proud of this year’s me is finding the courage to ask for help.

 

Looking back, here’s how I’ve asked for help this past year:

  • In January, I did a 4-week program where I learned how to create processes for my freelance business. In this program, I also got introduced to the greater world of freelance writers and copywriters, which helped me see that I wasn’t alone, not at fucking all. I took my first baby steps into networking with other writers.
  • In March, I enrolled in a Copywriting Masterclass to sharpen my professional skills.
  • In June, I joined a copywriting mentorship group where we freely ask one another questions, get feedback on client work, and attend regular coaching calls and webinars.
  • In July, I partnered with a web design friend to revamp both our websites’ copy + design.
  • In September, I enrolled in an intense SEO course so that I can offer this service in 2020.
  • In October, I hired my first regular subcontractor—a proofreader, so that my clients get error-free words.
  • In October, I reached out to a social media strategist friend to help me launch confidently on Instagram.
  • In November, I started coworking every Friday with a group of local copywriters.
  • In November, I took the leap to hire a business coach for 2020, with the goal to stop running my work life like a freelancer and start running it like a business owner.

This year, I’m still too busy for my liking. But now the projects I take on are all copywriting projects, and I genuinely enjoy each one. Most of my clients are referrals from my network or previous clients, which makes me feel more plugged in to the world around me, not lost in online obscurity. And I’ve begun developing friendships with my freelancing/business-owning peers.

Most importantly: I’m looking into 2020 with a plan, with support, with zero panic.

This holiday season, if you’re feeling “behind,” start comparing yourself to…yourself. I bet it’ll make you feel pretty damn grateful.

 

Content courtesy of Krista Walsh, creative copywriting for purpose-driven companies and passionate people

CONTRIBUTING AUTHOR, KRISTA WALSH

Krista Walsh writes website copy, blog posts, and product descriptions for small eCommerce companies and service-based solopreneurs. Her writing and messaging strategies help her clients speak to their customers’ values and emotions, for meaningful sales.

In her free time, she writes about purpose-driven business and freelance life at kristawalshcopywriter.com. On the off chance she’s not writing, she’s volunteering to walk the big ole’ dogs over at the Dog Café LA or watching (pretty bad honestly) TV dramas on Netflix.

Connect with Krista through her website, Krista Walsh Copywriter

 

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Finally Launch Your LLC on Women’s Entrepreneurship Day!

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It’s Women’s Entrepreneurship Day – a holiday to celebrate being a hardworking woman!

*All women stand up!*

So on this day, it’s good to discuss business and give tools and resources to entrepreneurs and small business owners to help them grow their companies.

One good topic to discuss is something that a lot of people do not think about when starting a business: getting an LLC.

An LLC is a limited liability company that’s a hybrid business structure that combines simplicity, flexibility, and tax advantages to merge together into a partnership for the protection of a company. A company can have as many owners as it would like, so if you’ve been itching to start your own business, today is a perfect day to do so!

Here are advantages and disadvantages to having an LLC:
Advantages:
  1. It’s simple: Depending on where you live, the fee to pay for an LLC is rather inexpensive. For example, in Louisiana, it costs $100. However, in bigger states like California, it’ll cost $70 to file one, but $800 for franchise tax. It’s always important to do your research prior so to budget your money.
  2. Pass-through taxation: The owner(s) does not have to pay any LLC taxes nor corporate taxes. The company’s income and expenses pass-through to the owner’s personal tax returns as well as their personal income tax on any profits.
  3. According to NerdWallet, there’s flexibility in managing the LLC. This is good for someone who does not have a lot of experience in running a business or who does not know how to manage workers. This advantage allows the owner(s) to be managed by other owners and for them to share in the day-to-day decision making.
Disadvantages:
  1. Nerdwallet also warns about the self-employment tax that’s activated once someone gets an LLC. The IRS sees the LLC as a partnership for tax purposes. In that case, the LLC is taxed and the government considers that the owner(s) who work under this LLC are self-employed. This means that the owner(s) is responsible for paying Social Security as well as Medicare taxes, which are known as self-employment tax and are based on the business’s total net earnings. However, this could change if the LLC file forms are going to be taxed as an S corporation, where the owners will only have to pay for the Social Security and Medicare taxes based on compensation. Once again, do the research to decide what is best for your business.
  2. It’s tedious work: the owner must make it a point to be organized when filing their assets and their business’ profits. It is essential to keep those two things separate, or else you’ll end up spending more than you need to, or you might file something incorrectly.
  3. Banking: Legal Zoom made a good point in stating that banking will be a challenge once the owner receives their LLC. Checks that are made out for the LLC are not allowed to be cashed. They must be deposited directly to a corporate account. Also, check which bank you would want to bank with for some have higher fees than others for business owners.

So in celebration of this momentous day, go for it – finally get your LLC, start your business, and start building your future dreams!

 

Content courtesy of  Lara Ashley, Founder and Editor of Brenley Magazine, Redefining what it means to be a Southern belle; an online magazine that helps women wear their crowns with grace.

Contributing Author, Lara Ashley

Lara Ashley is a multifaceted Journalist. Lara Ashley obtained her Mass Communications degree at Southern University and A&M College and is obtaining a Master’s degree in Magazine Journalism in the U.K. from Cardiff University. When she’s not watching her fav reality shows (LOVES the Real Housewives franchise), spending her afternoons watching Netflix or with a good book, she’s writing and journaling.

Follow Lara @brenleymag and connect with her on Facebook

 

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How to Be a S.T.A.R. at Your Next Job Interview

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You’re in a job interview, and things are going well so far. You dressed the part, rocked the interviewer with your extensive background, and even befriended people at the front desk. Then, the interviewer hits you with the dreaded “Tell me about a time when….”

Situational questions can often throw prospective candidates for a loop. Even with adequate preparation, it can still be tricky to properly portray the situation and your relatable skills in regards to the answer that they are seeking out.

You quickly sort through your brain for any relatable situation, eventually coming up with an example that somewhat satisfies the prompt but doesn’t highlight the attributes that the interviewer was seeking. We’ve all been there. Fortunately, there’s a much simpler way to organize information to create a clear and concise answer to make the process behind these questions a little easier.

This method is referred to as the S.T.A.R Method. This technique offers a concrete way to elaborate on your previous accomplishments and skills by giving a situational example and backing it up with associated skills.

How do you know if you should use the S.T.A.R Method? Watch out for key words in behavioral questions, often beginning with:
Tell me about an instance…
Give me an example of…
Describe a time…

 

Besides thinking of the situation, the S.T.A.R Method backs it up with structure so that you don’t end up rambling for ten minutes with unnecessary details. This method provides a framework so that you can stick to the point and highlight the skills that make you a good fit….which is exactly what the interviewer is looking for. It helps you create an easy-to-follow scenario with a clear conflict followed by a resolution.

Now, what is the S.T.A.R method exactly? Let’s break it down. S.T.A.R is an acronym that stands for:
1.Situation: Set the scene and provide situational details.

This is the crucial starting point (and perhaps the most difficult part). You won’t know exactly what the interviewer will ask you, but it’s a good idea to have a few scenarios prepared in your head, so that you can adapt them for different questions.

If the question really throws you for a loop or you just can’t think of one quickly, don’t be afraid to ask for a minute so you can prepare yourself.

2. Task: Describe what your responsibility was in that situation.

After you’ve picked a scenario, it’s time to add any appropriate details. It’s tempting to include all sorts of unnecessary details, but try to avoid this as much as possible before you start going down a rabbit hole. Focus this section on a few sentences and try to keep it concise.

Your goal here is to paint a clear picture of the situation you were in and highlight any particular difficulties.

This can easily become merged with the action portion. However, this section is dedicated to your responsibilities and objectives, then to be followed by the action segment.

3. Action: Explain your actions (and the steps you took)

Now that you’ve given the interviewer a description of both the situation and your role within it, it’s time to explain what you did and what steps you took to resolve the problem. This is the section you want to add extra details. Showcase yourself and your contributions with the details of what program you used, if you worked on a team, any steps that were involved, etc.

4. Result: Share the outcome of your actions (along with the importance of those actions)

Finally-the results! This is your time to shine and explain what effects your contribution had as a whole. Make sure this part is very clear-you don’t want the interviewer to be confused as to what impact your efforts made, that’s the whole point of the question!

Interviewers don’t only care about your actions but also they want to know why it’s important. Make sure to focus on results and include any necessary details-numbers are always a great bonus!

Package all of these components together and you’ve mastered the S.T.A.R method. This process might seem a little overwhelming at first, but with practice it will become a lot more manageable. With enough practice, you’ll be a star in your next interview.

 

Content courtesy of Michelle Finn, Founder of Pop Design Shoppe

Contributing Author, Michelle Finn

Michelle has a strong marketing background in a versatile set of roles including social media, events, and field marketing. She fell in love with design and combined it with her skills to create her business, Pop Design Shoppe. In the future, she hopes to continue her work within design or the arts (including interior design, fashion, the visual arts, and event design). She wants to continue working on projects that create impact. Her perfect day includes a morning workout, sunny day at the beach (preferably with her dog joining) followed by an evening out with friends at an event.

Connect with Michelle on Instagram @michellekatheriine and follow her business @popdesignshoppe

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5 Female-Driven Sci-Fi & Fantasy Novels to Empower Your Inner Heroine

Strong and independent females are becoming more mainstream in today’s media and entertainment. Here are five novels that features awe-inspiring female protagonists in the sci-fi/fantasy genre who demonstrates that gender is just a word, and when a woman sets her mind to do something, she usually succeeds.

The Broken Earth Trilogy

by N.K. Jemisin

The first book of the series, The Fifth Season, opens upon a scene where Essun comes home to find that her husband has murdered their infant son and vanished with their daughter. As the novel and series progresses, we discover that Essun possesses powers that could stabilize catastrophic effects caused by climate change. This complex novel is rich with powerful female characters, laced with the intricate use of the earth as a reimagined literal and metaphorical form, and introduces a provocative perspective on social issues that are both timely and convincing. Jemisin’s intriguing use of multiple point of views, especially the daunting use of second person point of view, “you”, this trilogy is a masterpiece and bound to become a classic for avid fantasy readers and realistic feminists alike.

The Power 

by Naomi Alderman

Selected by President Obama as one of his favorite books in 2017 and endorsed by Margaret Atwood, the legendary multiverse author best known for her novel “The Handmaid’s Tale”, Alderman presents an alternative reality where teenage girls develop a new physical power that could electrify people and capable of awakening that same power in other women. The novel explores the question of “what happens when women become the default and dominant gender of society?”. This is both a provocative and timely piece of work that has been applauded as “one of those essential feminist work that terrifies and illuminates, enrages and encourages”. With brilliant writing and intriguing premise, The Power has been awarded the Women’s Prize for Fiction, which is one of the most prestigious literary prizes in the UK.

A Shade of Magic Trilogy 

by V.E. (Victoria) Schwab

This trilogy is written in multiple point of views, whose protagonist, Kell, is a powerful Antari who uses blood magic to travel between the four Londons: red, white, grey and black. We are being introduced to Lila Bard as a main character Kell meets in Grey London on his travels. First branded as a thief, then contestant in a magic competition in Red London, and finally becoming captain of a ship of pirates, Lila Bard is a badass and empowering character that sets every feminist heart on fire. Most interestingly, Lila Bard is said to be one of the few gender-fluid characters in the genre of fantasy, which adds more color to an already spectacularly beautiful story.

Throne of Glass Series 

by Sarah J. Maas

Six books in the series (excluding the novellas), this Cinderella-inspired young adult high fantasy is one worth binge reading for any age. The story follows the journey of Celaena Sardothien, who is known as a trained assassin but takes multiple roles throughout the series, including the King’s Champion and Fae Queen. The author introduces many other strong independent female characters throughout the novels, including a witch, a shapeshifter, and a Lady, who all makes difficult decisions and learns to fight for the freedom to choose their own destinies.

Tuck Everlasting

by Natalie Babbitt

Although a children’s book, this piece of stunning literature is apt and entertaining for all ages. 10-year-old Winnie Foster discovers the Tuck family, who became immortals by drinking from a spring in the back of her house. This bittersweet story explores the issues of life and death, right and wrong, morality and ethics. It allows us to ponder the effects of cohabiting with nature, and that every person has the power to make their own decisions in life. A short but profound read that leaves an everlasting impression.

These novels are tributes that remind us as women that what doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger.

 

Content courtesy of  Betsy Kwong, the Lead Instructor for Boon Yoga and managing director of Boon Tea!

Contributing Author, Betsy Kwong

Betsy is the managing director of Boon Tea, a California lifestyle brand dedicated to inspiring life through the celebration and appreciation of the arts and culture. She is also the Lead Instructor for Boon Yoga, a yoga method that advocates for the concept of slow living and self-expression with an emphasis on the teachings of Hatha Yoga. Her goal is to help others find the means to lead a purposeful and conscious life. In her free time, Betsy likes to go on hikes with her goldendoodle Bailey, read, and do pottery.

You can follow @boonteala and @boonyogala on Instagram. You can also follow them on Facebook @boonteala – @boonyogala , or visit their websites: Boon Tea and Boon Yoga.

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Channeling Beyoncé: BEYiness That We Can All Learn From

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September 4 was a National Holiday: It was Beyonce Knowles-Carter’s birthday.

Even though we know Queen Bey as being a world-renowned singer, actress, and songwriter, the now 38-year-old has accomplished so much more than being an inspiration on our Pinterest boards.

Beyonce owns multiple businesses through her company, Parkwood Entertainment. Parkwood produces movies, music as well as fashion brands. So the movie that had us gushing over Idris Elba, “Obsessed” and the activewear Ivy Park all came from the same company. The wife and mother is definitely making money moves! According to Forbes, she raked in $60 million in 2018, hitting the number three spot on the outlet’s highest paid female musicians list.

As business women, we can learn a lot from the entertainment mogul in our own practices today. In celebration of the United States’ undocumented queen, here are some lessons that every business woman should practice in their own workplace:

Social media is the free press that you’ve always needed:

Beyonce is known for her surprises, and album drops that there are several social media accounts that have been created just to send alerts to the BEYhive members. In 2013, she dropped a visual album without any prior announcement or declaration of a new project. The Beyhive was on full alert; the social media accounts did the work for her and made live posts and campaigns of the album dropping. Within the first three days over 800,000 downloads of the album were downloaded-just because of social media. Never forget the power of the Internet, and use it for your own advantage. Still have doubts? Before the release of her 2016 visual album, “Lemonade,” Beyoncé posted lemon-themed pictures on her Instagram page. Of course, the Beyhive speculated for weeks of the meaning behind it, and Beyonce was trending on Twitter. ”Lemonade” debuted exclusively on Tidal for its first weekend and reached the number one spot on the Billboard magazine charts.

Be personable:

In the September 2018 issue of Vogue magazine, Beyonce showed her vulnerable side and opened up about being pregnancy for the second time with twins. She talked about the beauty and pains of a mother’s womb, and her fears of leaving a legacy for her children. It was the first time that the accomplished magazine allowed such a personal and open book piece to be featured in the magazine, but it was a smart move. It was a different side of the megastar that the audience rarely witnessed, and it was something that Vogue knew would grab people’s attention. Plus, it was relatable. Beyonce acknowledged that she is having problems just like every other mother, which opened another genre of fans.

She listens to her customers:

In 2015, husband and rapper Jay-Z bought Tidal; a subscription-based music streaming service that offered songs as well as music videos exclusively to its audience. Beyonce, and other famous artists such as Rihanna and Madonna, were co-owners of the company. In the first year of its release, there were 540,000 subscribers that were mixed between happy with the services, and with the ones who are not content with the pay. According to Investopedia, critics of the service complained about the initial service fee, which was $240-per-year subscription rate. The owners listened to the complaints of their customers, and decided to appeal to their audience. The current rate is $9.99 per month for the premium subscription and $19.99 a month for the Hi-Fi option including with lossless High Fidelity sound quality and high definition music videos. There are also less expensive options for students, family plans and for military members. Currently, Tidal has over 3 million subscribers. It is always good to listen to the needs of the customers, and to make changes to a company to appease everyone.

 

Content courtesy of  Lara Ashley, Founder and Editor of Brenley Magazine, Redefining what it means to be a Southern belle; an online magazine that helps women wear their crowns with grace.

Contributing Author, Lara Ashley

Lara Ashley is a multifaceted Journalist. Lara Ashley obtained her Mass Communications degree at Southern University and A&M College and is obtaining a Master’s degree in Magazine Journalism in the U.K. from Cardiff University. When she’s not watching her fav reality shows (LOVES the Real Housewives franchise), spending her afternoons watching Netflix or with a good book, she’s writing and journaling.

Follow Lara @brenleymag and connect with her on Facebook

 

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Our State of Inequality: In Honor of Women’s Equality Day

Women’s Equality Day commemorates the amendment that gave women the right to vote.

So why is it still important today? As a female empowerment advocate, I get this question all the time. Aren’t we alright now? Why are we still pushing for equality?

I, myself, used to believe that we’ve made strides and that our society was just fine. I didn’t understand the push for women’s rights. Don’t we all have the same rights? The unspoken truth is that there are still a lot of disadvantages that women face. We still have distorted ideas for the roles of men versus women in society.

When I entered the corporate world, I quickly realized first hand that women and men still don’t get paid the same. I remember being at a director position and head of my own department and truthfully being happy with my pay because I felt I was young and ‘lucky’ I was able to grow s0 quickly within the company. Then a new guy came in and got hired as a director, he was five years younger than me and got paid 45% more than me. I knew all the other male directors made more but, hey, they were a lot older so I had justified the discrepancy in my mind. That’s another problem, that even women don’t realize the biases sometimes.

Anyway, I decided to ask my boss for a raise. I remember thinking, well, maybe this guy just asked for more so I’ll do the same. I knew I had the results and numbers on my favor, I knew I deserved a raise. So I went in, prepared to answer almost any questions on my performance, numbers, time with the company, accomplishments, etc. But nothing prepared me for the answer I was about to receive.

The initial answer was no, I couldn’t get a raise, but of course, I followed it with a ‘why?’ My boss praised my work but said, “You are a young woman, you don’t have any kids, you’re not the head of the household. [Insert new hire name] is going to be a provider one day. He’ll get married and he’ll be the head of the household so he needs more money. You don’t need the money. You make a lot of money for a woman. What you need to do is find yourself a husband. You don’t want to be working forever and you don’t need the money.”

I know, I know, you may be thinking I’m making it up; sadly, I’m not. I had seen a lot of small things, like getting interrupted in the boardroom or other men taking credit for my work or ideas, but I always tried to justify it. I didn’t want to be the “emotional” person in the office. I always tried to brush this off. But this?! How do I justify this?!

I proceeded to remind my boss that salaries are based on experience, performance, and results; not on how many kids I have or don’t have or if I’m the head of the household. I remember joking that if I wanted to use my money to buy a hundred shoes that was my prerogative and I deserve to get paid what I have earned through my performance. I ended up getting a raise, but I had to be persistent. The problem is that most women wouldn’t have gotten that far. The problem is that I shouldn’t even have had to go that far. The problem is that this is even a story. The problem is that millions of women experience these things every single day in the workplace, in entrepreneurship, and everywhere really.

The problem is that this is just one story, but I could tell you so many more! When we get to the place where these discrepancies don’t exist or when they are an outlier and not the norm, then, I’ll digress. When women don’t have to explain why they are asking for a raise, but rather how they’ve earned it, then we’ll take a break. I am looking forward to the day when this day is just a celebration and not a reminder that we still have a lot of work to do. But until that day, we need to unite more than ever and support women. Remember, women’s rights are human rights.

 

Content courtesy of Jessica Medina, founder & CEO of a global female empowerment community for Latinas @femlatinas and feminine branding agency @femgency. 

Contributing Author, Jessie Medina

A playful creative and curious intellectual, Jessie Medina likes to defy stereotypes and shatter glass ceilings. She climbed the corporate ladder in her 20’s working as a digital marketing and PR executive. She is now the founder & CEO of a global female empowerment community for Latinas @femlatinas and feminine branding agency @femgency. She is also a crisis communication and workplace equality consultant, speaker, business strategist, and podcast host. Jessie loves traveling, dancing, and cooking at home! She enjoys the beach and doing anything creative. Jessie is an avid advocate for female empowerment and helps women design their dream life.

 

Keep up with Jessie on her personal Instagram as well @jessiemedinaofficial.

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Secure Your BHAG

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How to successfully achieve your biggest goals

Whether you’re a solo entrepreneur looking to make an impact, a blogger wanting to stand out from the crowd or a career professional trying to make it happen in the office, I’m sure you know how hard it can be to get where you want to be in life. Big goals can be intimidating and confusing, especially when you’re trying to move forward in your business or career.

So, how can you turn this intimidation and confusion around into something positive? Let’s talk about how you can secure your BHAG when it comes to your goals. These could be goals in the workplace, business or personal development. Whatever it is, you need to secure that BHAG to get to your next level up.

What is a BHAG?

First things first, you may be wondering what BHAG actually stands for? BHAG simply means big, hairy, audacious goal. This basically refers to any sort of intimidating, ambitious goal that you might have in your life; whether that’s starting a business, hitting your sales targets or reaching out to your dream influencers. It’s all about aiming for the stars and not being afraid that any goal is too large to attain.

How to start securing your BHAG

Now that we’ve learned what BHAG actually means, let’s take a more in depth look at what you can do to start achieving these big, hairy, audacious goals in your own life. It will come with time, dedication and practice, of course, but there are some immediate steps that you can start taking to overcome your worries and start seeing results.

Break it down into manageable chunks

One of the main, most important steps that you need to take is to break down your BHAG into bite size, manageable tasks. Something that often stops people from achieving their goals and dreams is the feeling that the task is simply too big to deal with or impossible for someone to do alone.

This is why it’s so important to break down the goal into smaller, more achievable goals to focus on. Sure, looking at the big picture is important- but taking baby steps is one of the quickest ways to ensure that you start seeing results. 

Build a strong support network around you

Another important step that you need to take in order to achieve your goals and dreams is to build up a strong system of supportive people around you. This could be co-workers, friends, family members or even people online. One of the best ways to meet people for your tribe is to go where the people are. Find networking events, workshops and conferences that attract the type of people that you want to hang out with, learn from and share information with.

Humans are inherently social creatures, and it’s vital to have people around you who’ll help keep you grounded and on the right track in terms of your BHAG. 

Take breaks from work and let yourself breathe

Something else that can often stop people from achieving their dreams is simply pushing themselves too hard. This may sound counterintuitive, but it’s really important to give yourself the right amount of break time when you’re working hard. 

Giving your mind time to rest will only ever have positive effects on the quality of the work that you’re putting out. Make sure you’re taking real breaks too- that means really closing your emails…like seriously.

Furthermore, taking the right breaks can also help prevent you from getting burnt out from what you’re doing. Even if you’re spending every day dedicating yourself to a business that you adore, burn out is still a very real threat, so you need to give yourself time to breathe and relax after a hard day at work. It may be hard at first, but you’ll thank yourself for it!

Don’t beat yourself up for failures

This is one step that can be tricky to take, but it’s incredibly important to not give yourself grief over failures that may come with aiming for your goals. Failure is a natural part of life, whether you’re looking at starting a business, promoting a product or building an audience. 

What’s important is that you work on your ability to take your failures in stride and view them as lessons instead of punishment from the universe. It may sound cliché, but once you’ve mastered this mindset, you’ll be unstoppable.

Celebrate the small successes

In a similar vein, it’s very important to give yourself time to celebrate your successes and appreciate how far you’ve come. Even if you haven’t accomplished your BHAG yet, make sure to take time out and appreciate the time and effort that you’ve dedicated to your working goals so far. Doing this will only make the achievement of hitting your BHAG even sweeter!

Look to your peers for inspiration

A final point to help you achieve your BHAG and feel accomplished is to look to those around you for inspiration. Looking to your fellow peers and colleagues can be a wonderful way to keep yourself motivated and inspired. Help them celebrate their successes and encourage them to get involved in yours. 

To sum it all up

Overall, setting out to achieve your goals can be an intimidating task- but with careful planning and a good network of people around you, you’re sure to achieve every goal you focus on achieving. Keep your mind focused on the BHAG and success has no choice but to follow.

Content courtesy of Afenya Pongo Montgomery. 

Contributing Author, Afenya Pongo Montgomery

Afenya took a leap from being a nurse focused on healthcare consulting to becoming a ladyboss determined to help women and people of color leap into entrepreneurship. She’s founder and Chief Innovator behind The iCAN Collective, a professional development platform that connects diverse entrepreneurs to resources, information, business partnerships and collaborations through live events.

Since long walks on the beach at sunset are few and far between, she mainly enjoys spending her time as a business strategist, helping new entrepreneurs create, launch and scale viable businesses. When she’s not working with other Girlboss CEOs on building brands and businesses that they can be proud of, she’s juggling le struggle of being the ultimate momboss at home with 3 junior girlbosses and a law-enforcing hubby.

You can keep up with Afenya on her website here.

You can connect with Afenya on her Facebook page and follow her work on iCAN Collective Facebook page too. This Ladyboss also has an Instagram page for herselfand her business! Go give her a follow you won’t regret it. 

 

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My latest feature on VoyageATL

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A few weeks ago, I sat down with the super vibrant and fun publication, VoyageATL for an interview on my story. They just released it and I wanted to share it with you here!

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jessica Korthuis, Founder and CEO, Sohuis.

Jessica, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.

My journey is a bit of a crazy one! So, I suppose I’ll start with relatively recent events. About seven years ago, I was working for a corporate fashion brand in Public Relations – it was everything to me. I had always wanted to work in fashion and through a ton of hard work and grit, I landed this amazing role. In fact, my former boss and mentor were grooming me to take on her leadership role, as she was planning to exit and start her own company and follow her personal passion. About six months after working in this role, I found out that my job was going to be eliminated due to corporate downsizing across the United States.

Done. Finished, my dream job and career were inadvertently flushed down the proverbial toilet and I was absolutely devastated. My husband, who was my fiancé at the time, and I drowned my sorrows in several bottles of wine and did a lot of chatting about our futures and what we really wanted out of our personal and professional lives that evening. At the time, I didn’t realize it, but this was the moment my future was forever changed. After much discussion, my husband and I decided we wanted to launch our own branding and marketing agency. I had been working in communications for a while and had some significant relationships under my belt. My husband was, and still is, the tech and creative unicorn of the two of us, and just like that – poof! We created our own company, designed our first logo, developed a basic (and crappy) website all in that weekend.

4.5 years went by from that point and we built our branding agency from the ground up. We had no idea, no mentors, and no clue. We just followed our passion and ran the agency off of our own moral code and ethics, and after the first year, we were able to bring on two team members. By years 2-3, we built a team of six, including us, and we worked with brands like Red Bull, Girls Who Code, TedxWomen, Stanford University, and from there did work internationally with the European Union and the U.S. Department of State to support entrepreneurship across the globe.

It was insane! It was from these experiences and owning our agency that I discovered something very important about myself. I discovered that I was born to be an entrepreneur and a leader. You see, while I always got along great with my colleagues at other formal jobs, I never truly fit in – and I honestly could never pinpoint why. At some point, I always felt like I was able to grow within the company, but only at the pace of someone else’s success. I was encouraged to learn and to lead, but only so far until I needed to stay in my lane and respect my own box. I never realized until I became an entrepreneur that having the ability to look at a problem through multiple lenses was actually an asset, not a weakness. And I learned that having wild, innovative, creative and crazy ideas was a strength to a team and not a liability.

A critical moment of clarity for me, I knew entrepreneurship was where I belonged, and I knew the road would be full of challenges and uncertainty. But it was in those challenging moments that I brought my best and learned the most about myself and my business.

Since then, we decided to fold the agency for a number of reasons, all of which are good, and we still have great relationships with our former clients to this day.

Now, I’ve expanded my journey through entrepreneurship and have founded my second company, Sohuis.
Sohuis started out as a brand consultancy, allowing me to spend time with my new baby and manage motherhood in a way that made sense to me. Since last year, it has grown and transformed into a living and breathing educational platform that supports and empowers other female founders to create businesses they can be proud of and to live life by their own rules.

I create branding and marketing training materials, from guides to ebook, free courses, mini-courses, to a full-fledged program called the Sohuis StartupBlueprint; which is a step-by-step blueprint designed for entrepreneurs to take their brand and marketing strategy from idea to execution in as little as 30 days.

When I hear from my course members how much my content has changed their lives and the trajectory of their business, I just literally beam from all corners of my heart because this is my purpose – to lead and to teach. And if I can empower other female founders to live their lives by their own rules, then that is what I am here to do.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome? 

Hell no!
I’ve hit so many obstacles I don’t even know where to start. Of all, some of my biggest struggles were actually more emotional than anything else. As an entrepreneur, no-one really understands your world except you. Even your closest friends and loved ones cannot see everything exactly from your point of view. As such, entrepreneurship can be incredibly isolating – as you’re always stirring around in your own head.

When I started to notice this was affecting me, I reached out to other female founders that I met online or through other avenues and essentially created an unofficial committee of advisors. I reach out to them when I feel overwhelmed or need to advisement, and they reciprocate by providing guidance and their point of view, as I provide guidance to them when they need it.

I also started joining a bunch of online communities of other female founders and I find a lot of solace in knowing that we are all effectively dealing with the same things – whether you run a $50K business or a $50 Million business, everyone needs support and advisement.

Do you have any advice for young entrepreneurs?

I actually have two big pieces of advice for other women, particularly young women who are just starting their journey:
1. You just need to START. It’s not going to be perfect. You’re not going to get it right at the beginning. You’re going to receive push back and it will be challenging. The goal of ANY business is not to be perfect. The goal is to understand your customers and know how you bring them the MOST value. If you exist to serve your customers and serve them well, your business will flourish.
2. The other piece of advice I would give is this: Overnight success is absolute bullshit. If you’re seeing other women miraculously succeed overnight, it’s most likely because they’ve spent years chipping away at it. Slow and steady wins the race, and you cannot succeed without learning. And the only way you learn is to make mistakes along the way, growing and improving with every little step you take.

Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.

My work is exclusively geared for female business owners and entrepreneurs, who are either at the idea stage or early revenue stage, that needs crystal clear plan of actions to brand and market their businesses. I’ve worked with large corporate entities all the way to 1-person founding teams, and the #1 thing I see is that everyone knows marketing and branding is important, critical even, for success. They know they need to build a brand, communicate what they do, understand their customers, deliver products and services that are needed and valued. The problem is, the marketing landscape continues to expand and it is overloaded with information – it’s just simply too much. Everyone knows the ingredients of the marketing salad, but nobody knows how to put the salad together.

That is what Sohuis helps female founders do – I help them understand all of the ingredients and put them together in a way that makes sense, is digestible and sustainable to implement.

I am proud of so many things about my company. I’m proud that we are unapologetic in who we serve. I’m proud that we show up authentically as ourselves and have attracted female founders who align with our values. I am proud that I’ve created a product line that will support a sustainable marketing engine so that I can create wealth for myself and for others. Probably most importantly, I am proud that other women trust my knowledge and my experience to invest their time, energy and resources into my education.

What sets me apart from others is that while I deliver value through marketing and branding education, I’m here to do more – to change lives. I’m here so that the mom of four who’s barely managing to keep her head above water can actually build a business that brings her joy and freedom. She can do this simply because I provide no fluff, and no-nonsense education that she can actually act on. In my experience, when women are able to show up as their full and authentic selves, communities thrive and the world just simply works better.

Looking back on your childhood, what experiences do you feel played an important role in shaping the person you grew up to be? 

Oh, yes.

First and foremost, I was raised by a single mother. This has undoubtedly played an outsized role in my journey. I saw my mom work 3-4 jobs in and out of my childhood, I saw her open up her own hair salon and close the doors because she didn’t have the resources to carry it all the way through. I was raised in a small little town in Florida that I desperately wanted to get away from. As a result, my mom sat me down when I was 14 and told me that the best way to expand outside of what I knew was to go to college. And on that note, we didn’t have money to send me to college so I either needed to get a soccer scholarship (I was playing premier at the time), or an academic scholarship – which I set out to do when I got into high school.

I started working at 14, (I bagged groceries at a grocery store and I thought it was the coolest!), I played competitive soccer my entire youth, which definitely influenced my ability to work hard, practice, get back up, it honed my leadership skills, and so much more.

In case you’re interested… I did end up getting that scholarship and I went to the University of Central Florida on a full scholarship where I studied Communications and Art & Design.

The original link to this article can be found here.

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Defying Social Expectations in Male-Dominated Environments

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I was always a tomboy when I was younger. I loved being around boys because they were less emotional. Growing up with a ton of cousins that were rough and tumble taught me to speak up for myself.

Being a woman in a man’s world isn’t easy. It’s not for the faint at heart. Many girls walk into careers in science, military, manual labor only to run the heck out of there since it seems like it’s a losing battle.

We need to follow through in order to make headway, to get used to one another. To build a better product, environment, and innovations.

Combat Feeling Awkward

Diverse opinions and viewpoints build a better product that serves everyone. Having a workplace or business that is not diverse hurts innovation. Men and women definitely have different points of view and it helps combat problems from many perspectives.

The main issue we women have while working in male-dominated environments is not fitting in with the masses. In these environments, you have to be comfortable in your differences and fight for your place by using your voice.

Men Can Be Great Allies When Your Prove Yourself

Being consistent and standing out gains respect. Not only that, it makes speaking up and demanding your place in your working environment easier. Practice makes perfect.

The Gentle Touch

It’s a tricky place to be a woman. You want to roar and say, “I am here.” Don’t do that. Be watchful of your environment. Assess the players. Then observe how others fit into the equation. After you have the lay of the land, get involved. Start speaking up during meetings. Everything you say, back it up with facts.

Put Your Emotions In Check

One of the best parts of being a woman is our ability to sense and sympathize. In a male-dominated workplace, you can’t be too sensitive. You have to speak up for yourself and set boundaries. Also, you have to realize that men communicate in a more aggressive manner. However, they don’t usually hold grudges. Once they get it off their chest, they move on.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is the best way to handle confrontational males in the workplace. If you don’t tell a person they are doing something you don’t like, they won’t know. Don’t be too nurturing at work. Be careful of falling into a typical role as a woman. Being the coffee girl or the note-taking person can make your ability to get on a level playing field challenging.

Read Body Language

Taking the time to understand and read body language can give you insight into your peers. It also allows you to position yourself and your body in a way that says, “take me seriously and listen to me.”

Don’t Give Up – Get Better

The more we women keep the road steady-to-progress upward into positions of influence, our male peers will get used to sharing the space. Taking the time to point out the benefits of a diverse workplace each step along the way. We can start to see and gain sponsors that understand the challenges of being a woman in a man’s world.

As a female engineer, I’ve seen a lot of progress over the years. It’s why I stay, it’s why I want to mentor other women who desire a career in the science and tech industry. It’s why my daughters now work in a much more fulfilling and equalized environment than I did. We each represent one step closer to defying the odds.

 

Content courtesy of LM Preston, author of Building Your Empowered Steps and Homeschooling While Working To Shape Amazing Learners, www.empoweredsteps.com

Contributing Author, LM Preston

LM Preston, is an author, business owner, wife and mother who has written both fiction and non-fiction books that have reached best-seller status. Her passion for writing and helping others to see their potential through her stories and encouragement has been her life’s greatest adventures. She also is a personal coach who supports clients in writing, publishing, goal realization, career imagination, parenting, homeschooling while working and much more.

Connect with LM on Facebook and follow her work on Twitter @LM_Preston

Her fiction novels can be found here, and her blog can be read, here.

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Overcoming the Challenges of a Female Video Gamer

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My youngest daughter has always been a video game fanatic, much like her father who she would play with endlessly as a child. When she was in 6th grade, I started homeschooling her, asking her if there was one thing she could do all day what it would be. She, like me, had many aspects of herself she wanted to explore. However, the first was, play and develop video games.

Gameplay Anonymously

Since she was a teen, we allowed her to create her game persona with and name that could either represent a male or a female. Since I was an engineer, in a male dominated world, I knew the implied bias towards females and didn’t want her to deal with that as a teen. She was never to talk to anyone online, and we had her set up where we could watch her play. She loved that. Everyone loves an audience, especially a gamer. In addition to playing games, she started watching others play them, researching game development companies, absorbing information on the industry and growing in her knowledge of the field she desired to pursue.

In an industry that is known for bullying female game players and developers, we wanted her to be able to feed her interest, improve her skills, in a safe and fun way. Then find her path to changing the tides.

Turning your passion into a business

Starting out as a female game developer seemed a fun idea and career path for my daughter. We decided to take her to some game developer conferences to talk to other females about the field. We were surprised to learn that the video game industry is one of the most vicious industries for women in engineering and programming fields do to the bullying and bias of the field towards women. It’s a surprising fact, considering that women initially led up key components in the software engineering and game development industry in its infancy.

My daughter, nor I, would give up. Instead she decided to one day work towards creating her own games, designing her artwork for them and writing the scripts. Then she would hire out the other aspects. Changing the industry by creating their own opportunities is the way in which women can impact the bias and bullying in the field.

Instead of depending on an industry to give you a way in, creating your own way, with your own rules is the best solution to turn the tides.

Tides are changing

With the conference bringing to light the bias in the industry, and more women taking the hits, and paving the way, there is a slow wave of change that is allowing more women to be integrated. It is also causing more males that had the ‘boys only’ philosophy and unconscious bias against female co-workers to respect the fact that the landscape is changing.

 

Content courtesy of LM Preston, author of Building Your Empowered Steps and Homeschooling While Working To Shape Amazing Learners, www.empoweredsteps.com

Contributing Author, LM Preston

LM Preston, is an author, business owner, wife and mother who has written both fiction and non-fiction books that have reached best-seller status. Her passion for writing and helping others to see their potential through her stories and encouragement has been her life’s greatest adventures. She also is a personal coach who supports clients in writing, publishing, goal realization, career imagination, parenting, homeschooling while working and much more.

Connect with LM on Facebook and follow her work on Twitter @LM_Preston

Her fiction novels can be found here, and her blog can be read, here.

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Hey there!

I’m Jessica Korthuis, a branding and marketing expert with a passion for teaching female founders and aspiring mompreneurs how to market and brand their businesses.

I’m here to teach you all my secrets!

Let’s connect. 

@jessica_korthuis

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